


Family Bonding Time

by Trickstress



Series: We Built This City [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Basically some family fluff, GTA AU, Gen, Immortal Fake AH Crew, Jeremy introduces Rimmy Tim, Modern day compared to the backstory one shots, Ryan being a dork, The crew is still learning about each other, immortal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 08:01:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11916636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trickstress/pseuds/Trickstress
Summary: The Fakes have only been a crew for a few months and haven't really gotten a chance to know each other yet. When a storm hits Los Santos, they learn a little bit about each other and their pasts.





	Family Bonding Time

**Author's Note:**

> So my plan for this series is having a modern day look at the crew in between each back story so here's our first look at the crew as a whole! Also, Rimmy Tim is one of my favorite characters. That, and I can't wait to release each of the backstories with these little tidbits being dropped in here! Enjoy!
> 
> Thanks to my Beta, Lilly_Manchester for looking through this and helping me brainstorm because it just turned into a session of "oooo wouldn't it be cool if ____ did this?!"

It was a dark and stormy night…

Well, for once it was. Los Santos was in the path of a tropical storm, a pretty powerful one in fact, and it looked like it could be particularly rough so the newly formed Fake AH Crew shipped a majority of their vehicles out of the state to various properties that each of them owned in order to prevent unneeded damage happening to them. They had decided to camp out in Geoff’s penthouse for the week since it was one of the safer places they could hole up compared to their smaller apartments scattered around the city.

It wasn’t that bad at first.

A bit of drizzle, some lightning, nothing too much.

Michael, Gavin, Geoff, and Jeremy were playing a shooter game, well that Jack and Ryan could tell from the kitchen due to the increasing amount of swearing coming from both Michael and Geoff, while the other two were working on cooking dinner.

“How the fuck do you assholes know how to play this so well?! I can’t even keep track of the controls still!”

“Well boi, it takes practice! You’ll get it eventually!” Gavin grinned as he leaned against Michael who still seemed frustrated. Jeremy laughed as Geoff began swearing again.

“Or, you could be like Geoff and have plenty of practice and just suck at it.”

Geoff turned to glare at Jeremy.

“I don’t suck, I just am letting you fucks win. And if you say otherwise, you’re going back to your own apartment by way of me shoving you off the plank via the roof.”

Jeremy stared at him, about to retort when the penthouse suddenly went dark.

“Well, there goes the power” Jack sighed as she took a pot of stew off the stove to cool. Ryan shrugged and headed off towards the bedrooms.

Geoff got up and looked out the window.

“Shit, guys the flooding looks worse than what they expected. It’s halfway up the first floor on the buildings downstairs.”

“Wait, what?!” Jeremy exclaimed and looked outside and his face went pale. “Shit, I have to go to my apartment. I have shit I have to save and my building is a bit on a hill but it’s the first floor.”

“Well, how are you planning on getting to it, genius?” Michael asked, looking a bit happier that he didn’t have to endure more of the video games.

“HEY RYAN!” Jeremy shouted and a skull mask poked out of one of the doors. “Wanna go on a rescue mission with me?”

He received a short nod in reply and the two quickly left. The other four immortals stared at the door of a moment before Geoff sighed.

“Well, I might as well get some shit together if we’re going without power. I’ll grab the blankets and candles.” As the mustached man left the living room, Jack looked at the remaining two men.

“Anything you two need?”

Michael shrugged and held up a notebook.

“Nah, I’m fine. It’s not like I need technology to keep myself amused unlike some people.” Gavin squawked in response.

“But Micool! Don’t you realize how important and handy it is with the resources we have today?! I mean, I remember having to deal without all this stuff and it sucked! Technology is way better!”

Michael deadpanned but quickly grinned as he swiped his friend’s phone who scrambled to get it back.

“Not like technology is gonna help you out when you forgot to charge it! You’re at 1 percent buddy!”

Gavin looked horror-struck.

“Noooo! It can’t be!” He grabbed the phone and moaned when he confirmed what Michael said was right. Jack merely shook her head and grabbed a seat on the large 8-seater leather couch near Michael. Gavin was still bemoaning his loss when Geoff reappeared.

“So why is he bitching more than normal?”

“Well Geoff, it seems the idiot forgot that you need to charge devices in order for them to work and is complaining about how bored he’s gonna be.” Michael chuckled and Geoff sighed and threw a heavy blanket at the Brit’s head.

“Get over it. You’ve survived centuries without this shit, you can survive a night or two without it.”

“But Geoooofffrreeeyyy!” Gavin exclaimed, muffled from the blanket he had yet to remove from his face. He merely fell over dramatically onto Michael’s lap who didn’t respond other than to lift his sketchpad to accommodate his new lap resident before settling again. Jack chuckled before grabbing her own blanket from Geoff.

“So, how old are you guys anyway? I only know a slight bit about Michael from meeting him out on the east coast, but not much about the rest of you.” She asked and Geoff set the rest of the blankets down before lighting some candles to put on the coffee table.

“Well, I’m old as dicks. Gavin, slightly less so I believe but honestly, we should wait for the Grim Reaper and Mr. Down Under to return before we get into story time.”

“You won’t have to wait long…” Jack commented, looking out the window. Geoff looked over and groaned as a cargobob flew past the penthouse towards the roof.

“At least they didn’t break it.” He grumbled and grabbed his mug of coffee from where he left it from the gaming tournament and sat down next to Jack.

A few minutes later, Jeremy and Ryan reappeared however they were carrying something very heavy. Geoff stared in disbelief.

“What in the hell is that?”

Sitting now comfortably in the middle of the living room was a large tortoise with what appeared to be an orange and purple knitted sweater that wrapped around it’s shell and safely underneath it’s belly. Jeremy grinned and set down his backpack near the door.

“It’s Rimmy Tim! I couldn’t let my buddy drown in the storm, we’ve been through too much for a little bit of water to get him!” He explained and pulled some lettuce out of the backpack and set it down in front of the now identified Rimmy Tim who began to eat it happily. The rest of them, including Gavin who had reemerged from his blanket head covering, stared at Jeremy in disbelief. It was Jack who spoke up.

“So you’re telling me that Rimmy Tim, the person who you’ve referred to in many of your stories back when we lived out east, who you even stole a plane out of Africa with as well as rob a bank with, is a tortoise and managed to get him over here when we were moving without any of us noticing?!”

“Well yeah! It’s not often that regular people can live over 50 years and still be in their prime!” Jeremy responded, as if that explained everything. No one responded, well except Ryan who gave a shrug and took off his now soaked jacket and grabbed blanket and sat down on the other side of Gavin.

“You’re weird as fuck Lil’ J.”

“Thanks boss. I wouldn’t be around still if I weren’t weird.”

Jeremy grabbed his own coffee from earlier and sat down on the floor next to Rimmy Tim. Geoff merely shook his head and looked at his crew. 6 unlikely people who came together in the most unexpected ways. It made him wonder how many more immortal people were out there.

“So boss, what was with that with making me walk off the plank earlier?” Jeremy asked, breaking the silence that had fallen over the group. At the question, Geoff chuckled.

“Well, we were talking about story time while you and Skeletor were out. Might as well tell you a bit about me. I grew up on the open seas in the golden age of piracy.”

Gavin sat up quickly, knocking Michael’s sketchbook out of the way, prompting a growl from the owner of said sketchbook, but Gavin looked extremely excited.

“You were a pirate?!” He exclaimed and Geoff grinned and twirled his mustache.

“Aye, mate. I was one of the greatest pirates the world had ever seen!”

Jack laughed and Geoff looked over at her disgruntled.

“What?!”

“If you were a famous pirate, how come we have never heard tales of the great ‘Captain Ramsey’?”

Geoff gave a sly grin.

“You know better than anyone else that changing names is a must. And you actually have heard of me, just not how you would’ve expected. A friend took notes on my adventures and even turned it into a ride. Later, people in their company turned it into a series of pirate movies.”

Gavin just looked confused.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” Michael groaned. “I’ve only been awake for two years and even I know what he’s talking about.”

“Jack Sparrow.” Ryan said and everyone looked at him while Geoff laughed.

“Captain Jack Sparrow, and while that wasn’t actually my name, he’s based after me. I’ll admit, I wasn’t happy when they found the notes of me telling my story when me and the big guy were trading ideas for the ride, but the movies grew on me.”

Jack gave him a stare.

“So you’re telling me that not only were you a pirate, but Jack Sparrow based off of you, but you knew Walt Disney and worked on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride with him?”

“Captain Jack Sparrow, and yes. I was a pirate. Not the smoothest pirate but everyone knew about me! Also yes: I met Walt when I was already living west out here for at least a century and we hit it off, but that’s a story for another day. How about you fucks? I hired you but I still don’t know much about you people.” He looked around the room, spending a few seconds on Ryan before downing more of his coffee.

Michael shrugged and continued working on his drawing.

“I mainly lived in Italy for about four or five centuries give or take a few trips to France to heckle some amateurs. But yeah, when I was young, like before I died that first time when testing something, I was a ward to an artist and inventor. Granted, I was shit at drawing despite his attempts to help. Hell, I was shit at drawing for about two hundred years before I finally got it down but inventing was where I was good at. But yeah, died a number of times, fell in love with explosions, immigrated to America and lived in New England before finding Jack and Mr. Tortoise lover over there. Ended up dying and then woke up here with Jack and Jeremy saying you wanted to meet with us and that there was another group of immortals. So here I am.”

“You’re a lot older than I thought you were, boi!” Gavin said and Michael shrugged, not lifting his eyes from his work.

“Yeah, the ability to not grow beard thing doesn’t help.”

Jack looked over at Jeremy who had gotten himself comfy.

“How about you?”

Jeremy smiled as he reminisced a little.

“Well, grew up on the big island, way back before it was colonized or became its own country and shit. Lived there for a while and loved working with animals and learning about them so I hopped a boat and traveled around for a while. Turns out Australia had a number of animals, but there were a whole lot more out there. Travelled Africa a lot, ended up in Europe briefly to see where my parents grew up though it had changed a lot in a century, then ended up over in the states. From there it’s the same as Michael’s but without the dying part. I may have died a number of times while travelling, but still hasn’t happened on this continent yet.”

“Is that why you have pet snakes in your room?” Gavin asked and Geoff paled.

“THERE ARE SNAKES IN THIS PENTHOUSE?!” He jumped up, spilling coffee all over himself and Jack who startled and Jeremy just laughed in response.

“Nah, I just rescued those from a shitty asshole who was trying to sell them on the black market. They moved to their new home about a week ago.”

Geoff glared at the man as he dried off and Jack merely took off her over shirt, revealing her tank top underneath. With a huff, the man pointed at Jeremy.

“There will be no motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking penthouse, is that clear Dooley?”

“Dooley noted.”

Ryan booed as Geoff sat down angrily and Jeremy laughed at his own pun. Michael just kept drawing as Gavin giggled into his side. Feeling the need for a distracting, Jack spoke up.

“Well, you guys probably know about me from all the shit there is about ‘the mystery of my death’ and all that jazz. Crashing a plane shouldn’t get so much attention decades later.”  
Jeremy scoffed.

“Well, it does when it’s Amelia Earhart.”

Jack scowled.

“I always hated my name. Anyways, woke up on an island somewhere, made it back to America to find out it was thirty years later and moved on from there and met Michael and Jeremy.”  
Gavin bounced up and down in his seat.

“Me next! Me next! I am a prime example of a chimney sweep from the best era for innovation! The British Industrial era!”

“No you’re not dumbshit. The Renaissance was.”

“Shut up Michael, you’re ruining my story! Anyways, ended up dying on the job and came back to find out I couldn’t really die and the rest is history!”

“Didn’t you die by falling off a roof? And that only covers about 20 years at least.”

“No I didn’t Geoffrey! And now I won’t say anymore because everyone keeps interrupting what I say.” Gavin said with a pout and slouched into the couch while the others laughed.

There was a moment of silence before the group turned to Ryan who merely stared back at them.

“So, buddy,” Geoff began hesitantly, “Do you wanna tell us about yourself? Because you don’t have to-“

“Why do you think I don’t want to?” Ryan asked, cutting off Geoff who shrugged.

“I mean, you wear the mask.”

“You also rarely say anything.” Jack added.

“There’s also the fact that you look creepy as fuck and scare us all the time.” Michael added, his attention finally away from his work. Ryan shrugged in response.

“Well, you guys assumed what my story was and it was too entertaining otherwise.” With that, Ryan peeled off his mask to reveal a rather normal, not hideous or scarred face, honey colored hair in a high ponytail, and icy blue eyes that were filled with mirth.

“What the fuck Ryan, you look like a bloody model!” Gavin exclaimed. Ryan shrugged again.

“Never did any modelling, but people had the misconception that I was a demigod.” With that information, the group’s eyes widened further.

“How fucking old are you?!” Geoff exclaimed, trying to do the math in his head. Ryan scrunched up his face in thought.

“How long ago was Socrates around by now? Because I grew up with him as a teacher and died about a day after he did.”

The crew was in silence for a few moments before Gavin shrieked.

“YOU’RE OVER BLOODY 2000 YEARS OLD?!”

“Well when you put it like that…”

“Jesus Christ! You’re fucking ancient!” Geoff exclaimed and Ryan chuckled.

“He was pleasant. Had a mean wine with him while debating over some philosophy. Some of the only alcohol I’ve drank.”

Michael looked like he was gonna pass out and Jack, the youngest of the group, just kept staring is disbelief. Jeremy was laughing at the others’ faces and Ryan just looked confused now.

“What? Come on, was it something I said?”


End file.
